He Said, He Said

The 3 year-old mind

Me: Why did you throw that empty wrapper on the floor?

Luke: Because it's my trash.

Me: I'm sorry Luke. We can't turn the car around to go back and see that fire station.

Luke: Yes you can! Just twist your wheels!

Luke, looking at his dinner plate: Can I taste something that's better than all this?

Me: Why did you dump out my glass of mint iced tea?

Luke: I was just getting rid of the lettuce for you.

Me: I have a runny nose.

Luke: Is that from running?

Luke to Dad: Can I get some water with ice, Rich?

Luke to Me: Here, Tiffany, I brought you your shoes.

Luke playing Hide and Seek: 11, 40, 44, 5, 6.... Here I come!

Luke: Can you put some gasoline on my bottom?

Me: Do you mean Vasoline?

The 6 year-old mind

Jack to Luke: Certain girls wear lipstick. It's like makeup for your lips. Sometimes Mom wears it, but usually she just goes with normal lips.

Me: They say not to judge a book by its cover.

Jack: Well I do, because I can't read.

Jack, on arriving at church: You got my shoes right mom?

Me: YOU'RE NOT WEARING SHOES?! This is going to be a little embarrassing for both of us.

Jack, confusing his b's and d's: Why did someone write "ditch" on that sign?

Me: Um, well... I don't know.